My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize