is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
