You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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