he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
