I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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