i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
