all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
