some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He felt like a one man threesome
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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