How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
