What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
