margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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