let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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