Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
