i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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