I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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