It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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