he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize