question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
