you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
