I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You left your phone here
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