i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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