I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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