I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
