Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i think im in europe. pls send help
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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