Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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