I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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