I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
