how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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