How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
there is puke in my bra ... again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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