You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Drake has all the answers
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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