I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
