I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
