I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
