is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
