Duck Duck Cougar?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
