piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Jerry, you need to find god
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
