Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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