It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
