This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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