if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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