its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
