I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
