Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
