My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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