I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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