allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
