She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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