the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
