Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
