i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
