Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
