My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
