i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
