Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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