So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
