he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
