So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
