he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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