She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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