If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
