I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think people are normalizing furries
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
